Wrestling with Mortality

wrestling with mortalit

With every passing day as I approach a big age milestone, I cannot help but constantly wrestle with my, hopefully far off into the future, death. It’s just a part of life as we grow older to lose loved ones. It’s easy to see how our past lives catch up to us. I often wonder if there is anything I can do to ward off death.

I’m not sure if I’m afraid of dying because of what I will miss, although I probably won’t know I missed it. Or, if I’m more afraid of not leaving a legacy. I wonder how many people would show up to my funeral and how quickly those people would soon forget me? Who knows why I can’t stop thinking about it. Maybe because I keep telling myself that I’ll get of my fat ass tomorrow and do more to keep me alive for the next day.

There aren’t many things I can control and death isn’t an easy one to tackle, but I can control if I leave a legacy or not. Maybe just a small place in space where people can go to keep my name alive a little while longer after I’m gone.

This place should be somewhere my wife and kids could easily go to connect with me when I can no longer be here to take care of them. It’s a tad morbid a thought, but let’s face it, once you get to a certain age you can’t help but think about it. Heck, maybe a few old friends will show up now and again to leave a kind word and check in on the family once in a while.

I’m not really depressed when I think about it, but I just keep thinking there are a ton of things I’d like to do and see and I’m running out of time. I want to live and create thousands of memories with my loved ones and make people laugh along the way.

One great thing about aging is the wisdom it comes with it. I now know to stay away from power lines while climbing from a roof. I’ve learned to care more about how I think of myself and what my family thinks than about what others think of me. Trust me, this has saved me from hundreds of headaches. I know I don’t need math in my every day life.

I know it’s going to happen; I just want it to happen many years from now. Until then I plan to do a few things every day to keep it from happening any time soon. I’m gonna write to my family anf loved ones here on my blog. I’m gonna leave a small legacy and even if I don’t get to see people enjoy it, maybe I can go with a little peace knowing in some way I’m still around.

wrestling with mortalit