Flying Sucks

Traveling by plane absolutely sucks. First, the fact that they need to stuff as many people into one aircraft is assinine to say the least. 

Then, God forbid you need to charge the only item you have with you that connects you to the outside world, and the two outlets in your row do not work. 

Oh, they have outlets as you can see here, but both look like a Note 7 was charging in them at some point. Fried beyond repair. Thankfully, I wasn’t on the flight trying to finish important business and needed power. 

You’d think that being on a huge plane wouldn’t be such an inconvenience but when you’re 6’0 and weigh in at 270 pounds it is tremendous burden, especially if you get stuck in the middle seat. 

First, you have to rely on the guy next to to get out of his seat to let you go to the toilet. Of course, he has an iPad with headphones watching a movie and has crap scattered all over that tiny little table that slams you in the abdomen when the inconsiderate ass in front of you reclines their seat. Oh, and who is the moron that thought reclining seats in an aircraft was a good idea once the airline demigods decided that six inches was enough space between seat rows? Idiot! 

And forget trying to go to the toilet once they start serving the $7.99 cans of beer. If you’re asleep when they roll out the carts of mass toe destruction, and you’re smack dab in the middle of the aircraft, you’re stuck as the liquids in your bladder keep rising and rising to the top, ready to make their escape. 

Once you do finally make it out to head to the toilet, good luck. We big dudes have to turn sideways just to get through the door and once in mid-stream, you’re sure as shit gonna hit turbulance. 

It looked like I was trying to put out a brush fire. I’m sorry, person who comes in after me, I tried to clean the mess the best I could as I was being slammed against the sink and the opposite wall, the fasten seat belt alarm ringing non stop as I tried to wipe pee from the walls of the toilet enclosure. 

The whole flying experience leaves me confused every single time I fly. For instance, you’re flying away from home and you need stuff to have at your final destination so why in the hell can the legally charge you to br no your luggage along for the trip? Ok, I know they legally can and that’s why they do it. 

After all, it’s business and business is designed for one thing only, really, to make money. So I guess I wonder more so why they do it.

What’s with that extra five dollar charge to use the in flight wifi? Haven’t we been charged enough just to take the damn flight? 

It seems that when people fly they lose all common sense. Have none of you ever ridden public transportation? Folks, the correct way to walk down a small aisle,  that has people on ether side of it,  is to take your damn bag off your shoulder and carry it in front of you.  But not you people on my flight. You think it’s okay to keep your giant duffle bag on your shoulder then turned around to talk to your flying companion, which ultimately results in me being blindsided by a knock-off Gucci bag. Of course the buckle smacked me right in the glasses. 

Personally, airlines should stop charging for luggage and make everything have to be checked except for small purses and briefcases. This way, you not have to wait for all the impatient morons ahead of you who have to ale their sixteen bags from the seven overhead bins they commandeered. Yes, I’ll wait while you continue to think the world revolves around you! Jackass!